Panic Attack - U.N.K.L.E.

Yesterday was a big day for me, a big step towards the career that I have wanted. Yesterday I had an interview with ESPN Star Sports!

Unfortunately for me, I think I kicked the opportunity square in the nuts, both nuts. You see something really unusual happened to me half way though the interview. I GOT NERVOUS. I have done enough pitch sessions, presentations, and interviews that it is not really an emotion I have felt in a long time. I go into these things assured that I am going to knock them out of the park, and I usually do. The feeling is so alien to me that it wasn't the actual nervousness that bothered me, it was the shock and surprise. And when I get nervous I talk too much, and then I realize I am talking too much, so then I just abruptly stop talking. I'm sure if I could watch from a thrid person's POV I would find it all kind of funny. But for me it was a horrible feeling, for thirty minutes after I had that pit still lodged in my stomach. Its awful knowing that something you wanted so bad just floated by. But I realized one very important thing: that I haven't been nervous in a long time because I have not been pushing myself, this is the first thing in a long time that I have really wanted. Time to start pusing more!!

As the hours passed I realized that maybe the interview wasn't as bad as I have pictured it in my head, because I did connect on a personal level with the two guys I was interviewing. One of the guys had also done bicycle tours in Asia so we had stuff to talk about immediately. And the other was from Edmonton, so we talked Oilers vs. Canucks hockey.

Here is where things kind of get freaky though. That night at about 10pm, Simon and I headed downtown to Orchard Road to have some dinner at one of the outdoor food centers, and after ten minutes a group sat down at the table directly next to us, it was the Oiler fan that I had just interiewed with earlier that afternoon. So after another discussion with him, I actually think I maybe I didn't kick the interview in the nuts, maybe I glanced off the inside of the leg coming up a bit short of the nuts. Or as I am trying to say, maybe I still have a shot at The Dream Job, which is TV Event Manager, producing events like the Asian X-Games! I was the first of ten people to be interviewed over a two week period for two positions, so I have a couple of weeks to torture myself with the thoughts of my nervousness.